wheresoever you go, go with all your heart

For both of us.

And I’m uncomfortable about it.

for the way you changed my plans
for being the perfect distraction
for the way you took the idea that i have
of everything that i wanted to have
and made me see there was something missing

for the ending of my first begin
and for the rare and unexpected friend
for the way you’re something that i never choose
but at the same time something i don’t wanna lose
and never wanna be without ever again

you’re the best thing i Never Knew I Needed
so when you were here i had no idea
you’re the best thing i never knew i needed
so now it’s so clear i need you here always

my accidental happily ever after
the way you slime and how you comfort me with your laughter
i must admit you were not a part of my book
but now if you open it up and take a look
you’re the beginning and the end of every chapter

who’d knew that I’d be here
so unexpectedly
undeniably happy

— Ne-Yo

that makes me wish we could’ve been friends. You went too far, however.

I see your name pop up somewhere, whether it’ll be on facebook or even if coincidentally I meet someone who has the same name as you, or even a friend of a friend with the same first name.

And… to be honest, I think of you.

Even though I’m so far away from you, and even though we’ve grown so far apart, and even though it has been so long since there was even contact between us… I still think of you. I’m such a different person now from when you knew me, from when we were close. I was silly and almost certainly took your every word too seriously.

I’ve grown and learned from you, I’ve grown away from you, and I’ve grown to understand things a little better. I was duped, I was blinded by you, and my judgment of you was only half correct. You weren’t as genuine as I believed you to be, however there were moments, conversations, and laughs we shared that were real, and they remind me of why I was so drawn to you in the first place. The end result was clear, however; you did hurt me at the time.

But now I’m so above and beyond those times.

Thanks for the good times, and even those bad ones because now I’m in a better place than I would have ever imagined. After this entry if I see or read or hear your first name, I won’t think of you. I’ll think about the person I am today because of you. I’ll think about the qualities and traits that I have gained from knowing you and being so close to you.

We’re out of each others’ lives now, but your lesson carries on. You were an interesting teacher, but it’s so obvious now that I’ve graduated and moved on from our past. Through the end of high school I still heard stories about you; how you didn’t change your ways. I’m glad I wasn’t lead on as severley as others. Thanks for the life lesson.

I can honestly say that you are one of those people whom I can and I will love forever. Since age 4 I’ve always admired your beauty, your leadership skills, your volleyball skills, your personality, your smile, your hair…. everything.

I know that you probably won’t read this, but at a time like this please keep your head up. You’re a fighter. You’ve been a fighter and you wil always be a fighter. Don’t let anything keep you from your happiness.

I wish we were closer sometimes, but then again I know that we have a bond that you and your other friends can’t boast. So, while at the forefront we aren’t the best of friends, we sure as hell are friends that have a deep relationship. I hope that you can feel that you can talk to me if you need anything or anyone to talk to. That’s all I can ever promise to you, I guess. I’m here to talk to you. I’ve known you for so long and of course you have many best friends, but I just wanted you to know that I’m one of those friends who isn’t fair-weathered and worries about you, and wonders how you’re doing from time to time. Growing up with you has made me who I am today, as silly as that may sound. You may not believe me, but even to this day I admire you. I’m blessed to know someone as amazing as you are.

Take care, and keep your head up.